Winter and Other Uncomfortable Situations
by BrooklynRager
Summary: What happens when the cold-blooded Orochimaru meets the wrath of the ice, snow, and chill of winter? Random silly one-shot.


_A/N: Hello, all, once again! Here's a little one shot for you all, featuring the some-what crazy, but always wacky exploits of Orochimaru. This idea came from a joke between my girlfriend, OtakuEntertainmentInc (check her stuff out, she's brilliant) and myself. How would Orochimaru handle the winter seasons? There is a picture she drew to go with it as well. I shall provide a link if requested. Anyway, enjoy! _

**Winter and Other Uncomfortable Situations**

The sound of a person running noisily down the halls broke the teen from his meditation. Sasuke stood, the blanket that had been draped over his lithe frame falling to the ground around his feet. The winter season had arrived early, bringing with it unrelenting snow and bitter cold. The particular hideout they were now occupying was not built well, so drafts were common, and blankets and the like a necessity.

Approaching the door slowly, Sasuke leaned his ear against the door, listening to the haggard breathing of the unknown runner beyond. He waited, patiently waiting for the right moment. Closer and closer, the person was not covering their tracks at all. As quick as possible, Sasuke snapped the door open, swinging it outwards in the path of the mysterious entity.

_WHAM! _With a surprised yelp and a grunt of pain, the being flew back the way it came, sprawling out on the rough ground below. Sasuke approached the prone figure, muscles tensed, seeking to ascertain the identity of the noisy intruder. When the body spoke, the raven-haired boy relaxed, a threat relieved from recognition.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun. No surprise you'd be quick to strike me down.," said the now sore Kabuto, his hand massaging the offended area of his nose, his other hand searching for his lost glasses. He sat up, squinting at the imposing figure, a slight grin plastered on his lips.

Sasuke bent over and retrieved the spectacles, which had landed at his feet. "Kabuto. What are you doing?", said Sasuke, his hand absently throwing the eyewear to the silver-haired youth.

Kabuto recoiled a little, caught off guard by the eyewear that would normally have helped him see such an approaching threat. Replacing them on his nose once more, he stood, glancing nervously over his shoulder.

"Look, I'd love to explain, but I need to hide. There's a rather dire situation.", said Kabuto, a touch of desperation in his voice. Sasuke's keen eyes picked out a slight twitch in the other's hand, a habit that happens to Kabuto only under extreme stress.

"Step inside.", Sasuke said, indicating the open door behind him. Without another word, Kabuto strode in, not waiting for any other invitation or excuse. Sasuke followed, closing the door firmly behind him.

"Alright, talk. What's going on?" Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest, impatience getting the better of him. It was the first day in sometime that he could relax, and he wasn't about to have it spoiled by Kabuto.

The older male paced the room uneasily, his hand a permanent placement under his chin, nervously scratching, trying to think. Kabuto turned after about thirty seconds of this, his glasses flashing in the low candlelight of the room.

"What I am about to tell you is not common knowledge about Lord Orochimaru. You are not to breath a word of this to anyone.", cautioned Kabuto, a warning finger pointed at Sasuke's chest.

Sasuke nodded his approval before Kabuto began to talk. "As you know, Lord Orochimaru takes on many traits of his creature of choice: the snake. Well, I can't go into exact details, but this has resulted in him becoming cold-blooded, rendering him as cold as his personality, essentially. As you can probably guess, this proves to be problematic at this time of the year."

The teenager nodded, his brain making the connections instantly. "I see. Orochimaru is having troubles keeping warm. I take it that it's become so severe that he's dying?", inquired Sasuke.

Kabuto chuckled, very nervously. "Unfortunately, that's not the problem. That can be dealt with. No, it's a different situation. As you know, ever since that dreadful Hokage took away the use of Lord Orochimaru's arms, I have kept him on medications, make sure he's not in pain or suffering." Here, Kabuto rubbed the back of his head, slight embarrassment entering his voice. "The medication I have him on now is having some unexpected side effects."

Sasuke titled his head, curiousity getting the better of him. "Side effects?"

"Yes. Lord Orochimaru has become somewhat delusional. Batty, I guess you could say. He knows that he requires heat, but he's not excepting blankets or coats, or even a fire. I'm afraid there's been only one form of heat he's accepting. And I'm afraid it's out of the question." Kabuto looked away, avoiding Sasuke's eyes, but Sasuke could pick out the slight rouge on the other's cheeks.

"What's out of the question?", Sasuke questioned.

Before Kabuto could give a reply, a voice bellowed from outside the room. This wasn't just from down the hall, or even a nearby room. It sounded like it resonated from within the centre of the hideout itself. A voice that inspired fear. A voice they both knew all too well.

"_KAAAAAAABUUUUUUUUTOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

Sasuke spun, glancing at the door, before turning back to Kabuto. "What was th-?" There was no one there. Kabuto was gone. A click behind him alerted Sasuke to the other's presence, but as he turned to look, Kabuto was already away, the door left ajar.

Sasuke rushed to the door, glancing down the hall. As he did, a white and brown blur passed by. The movement was so quick, the boy just barely made out the blur to be his mentor, Orochimaru, a brown blanket adorning his pale form.

As he whipped by, Sasuke could make out what Orochimaru was calling out.

"KABUTO! I'm still cold! Come here! I need body heat!"

Sasuke stood in the doorway a moment, shock taking over, before a grin cracked his cool lips, followed by laughter.

"'A dire situation', huh, Kabuto? Looks more like self-preservation." Sasuke turned back into his room, the laughter not stopping until the door was shut.


End file.
